This is a short story I wrote for school. It’s not very good in composition, because I really didn’t work very hard on it, but I thought I’d post it here on my blog anyway for your enjoyment. There are some references you might not get unless you played LEGO Universe and know about the LEGO Adventurers and Pharaoh’s Quest themes. Be sure to read it in Johnny Thunder’s voice. 😉 If you have no idea who Johnny Thunder is, he’s an Australian adventurer that looks like this:
It’s Difficult to be an Adventurer
G’day mate! I’m Johnny Thunder! I’m the greatest adventurer that ever adventured! I have been all around the world, from India to Egypt to China. I am originally from Down Under (that’s Australia for all those who don’t understand the Aussie dialect). I grew up in Australia and longed for adventure e’er since I was born. I rode in kangaroo pouches when I was just an ankle biter, and even swam with the tortoises in the Great Australian current when I was eleven. I am a very popular fellow! I became a star overnight. I went to Egypt and recovered the mythical “diamond beetle” from an ancient buried pyramid. At least, I think it was a pyramid. It’s quite hard to tell when it’s covered up by a lot of dirt. Anyway, after I explored the Himalayas and the rest of India, I went to Dino Island and rescued an extinct baby T-Rex from the jaws of a larger dinosaur that didn’t have his coffee yet. I took this baby dino to Austrailia where my very close friend Dr. Killroy studied it until it was old enough to know that it was supposed to eat people. We returned it to Dino Island after that, but never did tell the poor dinosaur that it was extinct, because he’s a very sensitive dinosaur, and we didn’t have the heart to hurt him.
Yes, I was extremely popular. “Good O’ Johnny Thunder,” they said, “he’s done it again.” All the children loved me too, and I often made photographs with them. I made a few action-packed adventure movies before I finally took a long deserved vacation in 2003. Where did I go? I went to sunny Florida (that’s in the United States). “Florida?!” you may ask, “Why Florida? Why didn’t you go to some exotic location?” Well, I’ll tell you. After being all around the earth in search of adventure, I thought that the best place to relax was in good ol’ boring Florida. I lived there for about eight years until I got up and went to Nimbus Station. Nimbus Station wasn’t such an exciting place though, it didn’t have any places to adventure, and it didn’t have much to do. It had a few skunks, a racetrack, and an amphitheater. I often visited the amphitheater to hear the folks play that wild rock music. I tried to mingle with the crowd a bit, learning their names and speaking with them. I thought that someone might actually recognize me. After all, I’m Johnny Thunder, the greatest adventurer that ever adventured! I even offered to give out my autograph (for free!), but that didn’t help any. They all said “Who’s Johnny Thunder? Is he some kind of weather man or something?” and “I’ve never heard of him before.” I needed to stop trying. My time of fame had passed. Nobody remembered me as the great Johnny Thunder. They didn’t even know who I was! It didn’t help any that my iconic sideburns had been sun-burned in Florida and I was forced to shave them off. I felt that maybe I ought to just give up being an adventurer and go into sports-casting or something.
In 2011, I visited Arizona. There was an old legend about a cave in the Grand Canyon that contained the great “Studded Diamond”. It was up to me to find it and regain my reputation as an adventurer. But I was too late. When I got there, someone had already found it and was celebrating! His name was Jake Raines. He’s my nephew. My brother (who is also named Jake) had always been jealous of my fame, because he could never be as popular and cool as I was (after all, he was a weird biker dude), so he got his son to become an adventurer to try to push me out of the spotlight! I never did like Jake. At first, when he was just a kid, I thought it was kind of cute, acting like me and being a junior adventurer and all, but when he got older, I could see through him. Jake’s last name isn’t even Raines! He just thought of it one day so he wouldn’t carry on the good ol’ family name of Thunder and people would think that he was some new adventurer! It didn’t help that he was a lot younger than I was, either. Nowadays, nobody wants to see a “cranky old guy” go risk his life adventuring when they can watch some young, strong guy do it! Jake Raines isn’t really even an adventurer; he went to school to become an actor. That’s all he is, really. He’s just acting like he’s some top shot adventurer! He’s never actually been to Egypt! He told this whopper of a story to the media about him going to Egypt, climbing a pyramid, dodging booby traps, and getting the pharaoh’s golden crown. Not only did he do that, but he also said that he battled a giant living sphinx and a living mummy! What an outlandish story! They even made a movie of it (with him starring in it of course)! Now, I’m not against movies one bit. After all, I myself, the great Thunder stared in some movies before. The point I am trying to make is that if you want to be a true adventurer, you actually have to go out and do some adventuring! You have to go in dangerous places and fight mythical creatures and do other grand thing like that.
When I first started in the adventuring business (well, not first started, because I couldn’t even talk then, but when I was an adult and went on a real adventuring trip), people were extremely skeptical of my adventuring abilities. Well, I showed them what I was made of! I climbed Mount Everest with my good ol’ mate Dr. Killroy. Once we had reached the top, we figured out we were on the wrong mountain, so we rode on a goat to the next mountain and made it to the Yeti’s cave. I was about to walk into the cave when Dr. Killroy slipped and fell into a very deep snow bank. Unfortunately, he pulled me into the snow with him and caused an avalanche. The snow came plowing down on top of us and before we knew it, we were covered in 5 feet of snow. Everything turned white. It seemed like forever at the time, but it must have lasted only a few minutes before the Yeti himself came to see what the matter was! He thought that he had found a quick snack before he had his lunch. He first picked up Dr. Killroy, because he smelled more like sausage than I, and was about to eat him. Realizing the fear on my partner’s face, I thought to myself “If I were being eaten by a giant Yeti, I wouldn’t want to be rescued by my friend. I could rescue myself from this 10 foot tall beast! But then again, I’m Johnny Thunder and he’s only an old archeologist.” I immediately jumped out of that snow, took off my hat, tossed it at the old man with the bow tie, and knocked him right out of the hands of the Yeti! Luckily, my hat doubles as an old fashioned Aussie boomerang and it returned to my head shortly thereafter. Once I informed the Yeti that we weren’t trying to intrude or steal his treasure, he invited us into his cave for some food. Personally, I don’t like the taste of frozen musk deer, so I just ate some Vegemite on toast. Dr. Killroy didn’t seem to enjoy the deer either. He kept turning green every time he looked at it. The Yeti wondered why we were up on the mountain if we didn’t want his treasure or want to tie him up. We answered that we only wanted a few pictures of him for the scrapbook and to see if we can locate his long lost brothers, Tygurah and Jun-Chi. Ah, yes, the Yeti was such a ham in front of the camera and we have been friends ever since. Although every time I go to visit him Dr. Killroy always stays home, poor fellow. That’s what real adventuring is. It’s all about going out there and having fun. It’s not all about the fame and fortune (although, I must admit, it helps). I doubt Jake will last long as an adventurer and a star though. Once his film is forgotten, he will be forgotten also. And there’s my chance to make the ultimate comeback as Johnny Thunder: the greatest adventurer that ever adventured!
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